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A POB Giveaway!

June 8, 2010

We here at POB are happy to announce our first giveaway!

Laurel runs the fantastic etsy shop Go Against The Grain. She makes tons of printed/design things- cupcake flags, wedding invitations, monograms, maps, seating charts, and note cards.

Well, lucky ladies, Laurel is giving away a set of six Go Against The Grain custom note cards and envelopes!

These would be perfect for writing a letter telling off your nosy MIL, or to send an update to your crazy relative so you don’t have to visit!

There are tons of ways to enter. It’s so easy, a MOH could do it! (I need to ease up on the wedding acronyms, don’t I? Consider it done.) All entry methods below must be left in separate comments. Each valid comment = one entry. Don’t be disturbed if your comment doesn’t show right away- we have comment moderation up so it just depends how quickly we can approve them! Ways to enter:

  1. Leave us a comment with what you would use your GATG note cards for!
  2. Heart the Go Against The Grain etsy shop and/or an item and leave a comment here with your favorite item.
  3. Add us on Twitter and tweet this: {plz RT} I entered to win 6 note cards from Go Against The Grain (from @Laurel16 and @PissedOffBride!) http://tinyurl.com/323mk6c then comment to let us know it was you!
  4. Become a fan of Go Against The Grain and Pissed Off Bride on Facebook and let us know with a comment.
  5. Follow our blogs- this one that you’re reading (duh) and Laurel’s– and comment letting us know.

That’s it! It’s that easy. You have up to five ways to enter. Although if you’re anti-social networking, then you’re pretty much SOL. Although if my MIL is on Facebook… you can be too. Seriously.

Happy entering! Send your friends over! You have until midnight central time on Monday, June 14th to enter and then the winner will be announced sometime on Tuesday, June 15. Good luck!

Mommy Dearest…or not

June 1, 2010
Dear Momzilla,

I have spent 14 months so far planning this wedding with zero help from you. Ok, so you didn’t want to drive an hour to see the venue before we booked it, you had no interest in our paper goods or photobooth or (on and on and on). That’s fine and dandy. I will admit that when you “politely declined” from seeing my DRESS before I (scratch that- YOU) bought it I was very hurt, but I understand that you’ve seen 3 children married already and you’re probably sick of planning. (Still sucks, but somewhat understandable)

HOWEVER, now that we are less than 2 months out, PLEASE stop trying to convince me to make changes! You think that this “other” invite will be much cuter? Well, too late, I already spent days designing and making our invites. They’re in the mail. In fact you already RSVP’ed. You think this potted plant will make a better centerpiece? Well, it’s very cute, but you know very well that I spent MONTHS finding all of the antique milk glass for our centerpieces. Our menu isn’t “traditional” enough? That’s funny, because you had no gripes about the Mexican menu when I originally booked it (monthssss ago.)

I totally understand that none of our plans and designs suit you, but that’s fine because it’s not your wedding, right? We are non-traditional. You’ve never been able toforce me into your cardigan-and-pearls vision, and you will not succeed now.

Your disinterest over the past year was very hurtful, but your current demands are going to drive me insane!! PLEASE back off!  If you wanted to have a say in the decisions you should have spoken up when the decisions were being made! TOO LATE!

Love you still,
The black sheep daughter you’re driving completely nuts

The more the… merrier?

May 28, 2010

Dear MIL,

I’m not sure how many languages there are in the world, but let’s guestimate at one million. And then I can tell you in one million different ways to STAY OUT OF MY BIZ-NASS!

It was nice of you to help support our wedding. However, my wonderful husband (who somehow grew up to be normal despite your horrible parenting) did not want your brother (his uncle) to attend. Why? Maybe because he has only met him two or three times. Or because he makes no effort to be a part of my husband’s life. Or because the last time my husband saw his uncle, he was blacked out drunk, grabbed him by the shirt, and told him his parents were liars and that he’d never amount to anything. Take your pick. I’m sure he’s doing great with sobriety now, but that doesn’t make him suddenly an honored guest. You couldn’t let it go. You couldn’t talk to us about the fact that we didn’t invite him. Instead, you had to go passive-aggressive, and tell us not only that “since his invitation was lost in the mail you invited him” and “he and his girlfriend will be attending!” How great! Sarcasm noted!

Well, dear MIL, your brother didn’t speak a word to me all evening. And did not bring a card, gift, or even a smile. Glad they enjoyed their free meal. His girlfriend sending you pictures via mail doesn’t warrant a thank you note from us. They will not be getting one. We have nothing to be thankful to them for. You can feel free to do it for us though, since you felt the need to invite them!

I’ll make sure to invite some of our closest buddies to our next gathering at your house, without notice or asking. Set the table for twelve, mumsie!

Love, your infuriated DIL

Caution: Reading RSVP’s may cause damage to your health

May 27, 2010

Dear cousin,

I know you have a beef with me.  I don’t really care, because you have made it a habit to push people out of your and your child’s lives, so I don’t take it personally.  And when it came time to send out wedding invitations, I decided to be the bigger person and invite you, despite all of the nasty things you had said about me to our family.  You wouldn’t even send me your address so I had to send it to your office, but whatever, I invited you.

Then yesterday, I get your RSVP in the mail, and it is hateful and full of lies and delusions.  I don’t know where you come up with this stuff in your head, I really don’t.  And I’m not going to reply to you, because you love to stir the sh*t, and I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing that you got to me.

But FYI:  The RSVP card to my wedding is not the place to air your supposed grievances.  Write me a note, Facebook me, call me, but don’t scrawl your nasty words all over the RSVP postcard to my wedding.  What is wrong with you?  That’s the place where you just fill in “0” when asked how many people are attending and let it go.  Hateful notes on a piece of paper that is directly linked to my wedding is beyond uncalled for.

You’re mean, aggressive, confrontational and 100% delusional, and I am so glad I made the decision to keep you out of my life.  It hurts me that this means that I can no longer be a part of your child’s life, but you are the one who pushed me and other people around you away.

Leave me the f*ck alone, and f*ck off.

XOXO,

Really Pissed Off Bride

Get your sh*t together, pretty please!

May 25, 2010

Dear Everyone Pissing Me Off,

I have a few things I need to get off my chest.

1. This wedding was NOT sprung on you last minute. You’ve known about it (and in many cases known about your role in the wedding party) since July of 2008. Do you know how many months that is? Count them…I’ll wait. TWENTY ONE MONTHS. That’s why I’m so puzzled when you tell me you haven’t figured out your travel and lodging arrangements, haven’t bought your BM dress, haven’t bought your suit, etc. Please, get your sh*t together.

2. Just because you are family or in the wedding party DOES NOT mean you are exempt from sending in your RSVP card. If you need to hand it to me in person instead of mailing it, fine (even though it’s stamped and addressed for you already). But I *do* need it back. If I give one person special treatment then I need to give everyone special treatment and that is NOT happening.

3.We wrote how many seats that were reserved for you for a REASON. What part of “___ of 1 attending” indicates that you can bring a date? Exactly.

4. If you’re in the wedding party and you have a question, PLEASE check the emails I’ve sent you first. I can say with about 99% certainty I’ve already answered it.

5. Vendors, you really never cease to amaze me. And not always in a good way. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re in the *service* industry. I understand wedding season is picking up, but taking a WEEK (or sometimes more) to get back to me is unacceptable. Customer service is extremely important to me and I plan to write reviews for all of my vendors, both good and bad. Trust me, you want to be on the good side of things.

Love,

A genuinely pissed off bride

RSVP or my little friend will have to make an appearance…and you don’t want that

May 24, 2010

Dear relatives who do not feel the need to RSVP:

Here’s the deal, when I mailed you an invitation with a reply postcard, you’re supposed to send it in.  It already has a stamp on it, you aren’t out postage $$$, and you all you have to do is fill out your name and how many people are attending.  A kindergartener could easily handle this.  Instead, I get a verbal rundown of who isn’t RSVP’ing from my man’s parents.  I’m supposed to just remember or something?

I took the time to mail you an invitation, arrange hotel rooms for you, oh yeah and I’M BUYING YOU DINNER for sh*t’s sake, and you can’t even take 15 seconds to drop a postcard I ALREADY ADDRESSED AND PUT A STAMP ON FOR YOU in the mail?  If you can’t bother to do that, I don’t want to bother to feed you.

New rule:  If the RSVP doesn’t get sent in, you are not marked down as having RSVP’d.  And if I don’t get an RSVP from you, then I’m going to have to call you to see if you’re coming.  And that’s when BZilla will be making her first appearance, and who could blame her.

Hugs and kisses,

Pissed off Bride

My gift to you…not showing up

May 24, 2010
Dear FSIL,


I get that you don’t like me.  That’s fine, I realized a long time ago that not everyone in the world was going to adore me.  If it had anything to do with my personality, I would not be upset with you…some people just don’t get along.  However, hating me because your brother proposed to me 3 months after your FH proposed to you doesn’t really make much sense.  I’m sorry that it took your FH 3 years to propose to you and it only took your brother 10 months to propose to me, but your brother is a man of action, what can I say?

My picking a wedding date 2 months after yours had absolutely nothing to do with my desire to make your life miserable in any way.  You had not set a date by the time we got engaged, and FH and I had always talked about a summer 2010 wedding so that my ailing, 86 year old grandparents could travel up from Florida.  I mentioned a couple of times that its very hard for them to get around in the cold weather and they tolerate it very poorly.  You said you wanted May, that’s fine.  We chose July, so that we could have time to have a honeymoon before I went back to school.  Please show me in what etiquette book it states that “family weddings shouldn’t be so close together, and it’s because whether intentional or not, having two weddings detracts from the distinctiveness of either, making both less special.”  I thought that you having your wedding in a tudor home in England and us having ours at a social club New York would have ensured their ‘distinctiveness’ from one another, my mistake.
Additionally, you seem to have an issue with the idea that I place my grandparents as more important to me than you.  Apparently it is an egregious offense to plan my wedding so that there is the best possible chance of my grandparents attending if it interferes with you in any way.  I forgot that when you get married its your year, not your day.  We’ll just reschedule our wedding for next summer, and if my grandparents happen to die between now and then we’ll just pickle them and prop them up at the ceremony.  Nobody will notice, right? And why should I put them above you, anyway? They’ve only shown me unconditional love and support my entire life.  You have told me that I’m an “evil stepmother” to FSD and also that I have “the wit of a cockroach” as well as the “maturity of a toddler”, and this was in response to a letter that I wrote you begging you to put aside your differences since we will both soon be members of the same family. You’re right, I should consider your feelings above their lifelong dream to see their only granddaughter get married…I’ll get right on that.
Oh, and while we’re addressing your ‘needs’, I am truly sorry that our wedding impinges on your ability to go to the World Cup this year.  I know you’ve always wanted to go to South Africa, and since you and your FH always allow yourselves a trip to the World Cup, this seemed perfect.  I am now aware that not only is this the only time that the World Cup will ever played again, but also that South Africa will be disappearing off the map immediately after they host the World Cup…making it impossible for you two to ever attend the event or see the place if you don’t do it this very year.  If you need to miss the wedding in order to be sure you participate in these once in a lifetime experiences, you go ahead.  Heck, South Africa is disappearing!  Maybe we’ll cancel the wedding and head down there with you.  How’s that sound?
Finally, I know you don’t feel like you need to be acting better towards me since we will soon be family…apparently me marrying your brother doesn’t make me your family at all.  Well, I don’t think you have to worry about that anymore, since I’ve decided (and already informed FH) that directly after the wedding you will become dead to me.  You will never have to see me again, nor will you get to see any of your nieces or nephews that your brother and I have together.  You don’t get to crap all over me and still reap the benefits of being a member of our family (which, you don’t consider me a member of anyway).
My wedding present to you will be to not attend your wedding…I hope you are kind enough to gift me the same joy.
Sincerely,
Your only brother’s future wife (I’d say ‘your FSIL’ but that defeats the whole ‘Im not your family’ thing)