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Wayward B-Maids…

June 29, 2010

Dear Bridesmaids,

I love you all very much, I really do.  I am so excited to be marrying my best friend soon and I always pictured you all standing up there with me considering some of us have been best friends for 15+ years.  I was a little nervous that I didn’t hear anything about a bachelorette party when it was only three weeks until the wedding.  No mention of plans or even asking me what I would like were attempted, even though you requested a guest list from me several months ago.

Sensing my stress, my wonderful groom attempted to intervene by offering to help plan one and put people up because he knew it’d make me happy to spend time with you all (yeah I know, he’s a keeper :)).  Only after his actions did you finally attempt to talk to me about it.  I was slightly hurt and embarrassed that it took a plea from my groom to motivate my best friends to take interest.

At this point, it was too late to allow the individuals on the guest list time to make arrangements to attend anything (travel arrangements were involved which you all were more than aware of).  However, you assured me you all had been planning a bash the Friday before our Sunday wedding all along.  You, MOH, continued planning it even though you would not be able to attend due to circumstances beyond your control.  You seemed ok with that and it made me feel better about moving forward without you.

Just as I started to get excited about the Friday night bachelorette party, even though 2 bridesmaids and many others were unable to attend, Bridesmaid #4 breaks some bad news to me.  Bridesmaid #3, who waited until 2.5 weeks before the wedding to finally make her travel plans, decided she was going to come in on Saturday thus skipping my “bachelorette party”.

Bridesmaid #3, you ignored previous emails from me asking about your travel plans and have yet to tell me this news yourself.  Do you remember when I was your MOH?  Remember how I funded your awesome shower?  And how the entire bridal party came into town a couple days early so we could throw you a bachelorette party with your friends before your big day?  Remember how happy you were?  I could’ve skipped all that and saved myself a lot of time, money, and effort.  But I did all of that because I love you and I was your bridesmaid and that’s what bridesmaids/best friends do for each other.  Oh yeah, and remember how you’re staying in my hotel room with me the night before my wedding and not paying a dime for it???  Yeah, that too…

Bridesmaids, I’m p*ssed…not gonna lie.  You all know what I would/did do for you.  I’m sad that it wasn’t reciprocated for me, or at least if you were having problems you weren’t open and honest with me.  I’d rather hang out with my awesome groom and other guests who will be in town that night rather than isolate myself with you and feel sorry for myself about what could’ve been.  I’m trying to see the silver lining though.  It made me realize what I great guy I’m marrying since he’ll do anything to make me happy.  AND that I have a kick-ass mom because she’s taking me out the first night we’re in town together and promised to keep an endless supply of margaritas/sangria on hand. 🙂

Good luck with your future weddings.  Better cross your fingers I don’t get pregnant and ruin your bridesmaid dress theme.

Sincerely,

Bachlorette-less Bride

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Patricia permalink
    June 30, 2010 11:25 am

    I know EXACTLY what you mean! I have one bridesmaid (of my 5) that has completely sat on the sidelines and done nothing. I’ve known this girl for 15+ years and was in her bridal party and spent a TON of money for her wedding related activities. Now that it’s my turn, she just sits there and does nothing. To make matters worse, she was super involved earlier this year in two other weddings for “friends” that she just met recently. It’s beyond me how bridesmaids are supposed to be there to make the process go smoothly and make it more fun yet instead they just become stressors! In the words of Donald Trump – You’re FIRED!

  2. July 3, 2010 1:45 am

    Why are you still friends with this person? She is showing you who she really is, so believe her.

  3. Pepper permalink
    September 13, 2011 5:24 pm

    Um, a bachelorette party is a GIFT. Not a requirement. You sound like a bridezilla. If I had been your bridesmaid, I probably wouldn’t have given you one either.

  4. September 23, 2011 1:20 pm

    Pepper, you are so off base. It’s about RECIPROCITY. It’s not about getting stuff or being the princess for a night. I can so relate to this post and my heart weeps for this bride. I kinda know how she feels.

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