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Wayward B-Maids…

June 29, 2010

Dear Bridesmaids,

I love you all very much, I really do.  I am so excited to be marrying my best friend soon and I always pictured you all standing up there with me considering some of us have been best friends for 15+ years.  I was a little nervous that I didn’t hear anything about a bachelorette party when it was only three weeks until the wedding.  No mention of plans or even asking me what I would like were attempted, even though you requested a guest list from me several months ago.

Sensing my stress, my wonderful groom attempted to intervene by offering to help plan one and put people up because he knew it’d make me happy to spend time with you all (yeah I know, he’s a keeper :)).  Only after his actions did you finally attempt to talk to me about it.  I was slightly hurt and embarrassed that it took a plea from my groom to motivate my best friends to take interest.

At this point, it was too late to allow the individuals on the guest list time to make arrangements to attend anything (travel arrangements were involved which you all were more than aware of).  However, you assured me you all had been planning a bash the Friday before our Sunday wedding all along.  You, MOH, continued planning it even though you would not be able to attend due to circumstances beyond your control.  You seemed ok with that and it made me feel better about moving forward without you.

Just as I started to get excited about the Friday night bachelorette party, even though 2 bridesmaids and many others were unable to attend, Bridesmaid #4 breaks some bad news to me.  Bridesmaid #3, who waited until 2.5 weeks before the wedding to finally make her travel plans, decided she was going to come in on Saturday thus skipping my “bachelorette party”.

Bridesmaid #3, you ignored previous emails from me asking about your travel plans and have yet to tell me this news yourself.  Do you remember when I was your MOH?  Remember how I funded your awesome shower?  And how the entire bridal party came into town a couple days early so we could throw you a bachelorette party with your friends before your big day?  Remember how happy you were?  I could’ve skipped all that and saved myself a lot of time, money, and effort.  But I did all of that because I love you and I was your bridesmaid and that’s what bridesmaids/best friends do for each other.  Oh yeah, and remember how you’re staying in my hotel room with me the night before my wedding and not paying a dime for it???  Yeah, that too…

Bridesmaids, I’m p*ssed…not gonna lie.  You all know what I would/did do for you.  I’m sad that it wasn’t reciprocated for me, or at least if you were having problems you weren’t open and honest with me.  I’d rather hang out with my awesome groom and other guests who will be in town that night rather than isolate myself with you and feel sorry for myself about what could’ve been.  I’m trying to see the silver lining though.  It made me realize what I great guy I’m marrying since he’ll do anything to make me happy.  AND that I have a kick-ass mom because she’s taking me out the first night we’re in town together and promised to keep an endless supply of margaritas/sangria on hand. :)

Good luck with your future weddings.  Better cross your fingers I don’t get pregnant and ruin your bridesmaid dress theme.

Sincerely,

Bachlorette-less Bride

Cross Country Nonsense

June 23, 2010
Dear dearest girlfriend who happens to live across the country,

I am sorry that you are bad with managing your money but that is why 
we gave you a year and a half notice to save up and look for flights 
at the best rates possible for our wedding. I am sorry that we have 
other friends that are also getting married this year that also mean 
you need to travel and that you waited until the last minute to buy 
that plane ticket and it cost you $400.

I am sorry you are feeling "overwhelmed" and that you feel that you 
can't purchase your flight for our wedding until after the other 
wedding is over especially since that means you will once again be 
paying $400 for a plane ticket when i have spent the last year sending 
you bargain tickets, even on virgin america for $223!!!

We are graciously providing free accommodations on our wedding night 
AND I am allowing you to stay with ME in my BRIDAL SUITE the night 
before my wedding so that you do not need to pay for a room the night 
before the event but can still join in the festivities. I have 
arranged for you to join other friends and share transportation to the 
hotel but that means you would have to book a flight so that you 
arrive together! THEY even sent you their travel info, a flight for 
$299, but you couldn't book it! Now that flight is $400 and i feel 
badly but I really feel that it's not fair for me to feel badly any 
more when i have offered so much assistance already. I have been 
working so hard to plan this wedding and the fact that i am working so 
hard to help you with no response is driving me nuts.

I love you, you are one of my closest girlfriends but what am I 
supposed to do? Buy your plane ticket too? I'm sorry but we are 
providing hotels and two nights full of gourmet meals for 120 guests, 
not to mention booze and entertainment - we're a little strapped for 
cash at the moment as well.

When I hear from a third party that you have been complaining about 
the weddings you are being forced to attend and how much it is going 
to cost you I cant help but feel pissed off rather than sorry. when 
you call me and tell me that you spoke to a mutual friend that is 
attending a wedding in the carribean and all that she has to pay for 
is a flight I can't help but be pissed off. When I tell you thats all 
you have to pay for as well and you proceed to tell me I should have 
made the free hotel room more well known at first I back peddled, it's 
on our website, its the first item under "out of towners." The fact 
that you have yet to even visit the site though it was plastered 
across our save the date says something in and of itself.

After our conversation I considered making the free hotel room perk 
more prevalent and including it in our invitation package - but NO! We 
shouldn't have to BRIBE our guests to come to our wedding!!! A free 
room is meant to be an unexpected treat for our friends and family 
that are making the trip to be there and celebrate with us. If you 
NEED a basket full of freebies to be persuaded to come to our wedding 
then please, dont come.

I know you will come, I know you will have a great time, and I know 
you will probably continue to complain about it. I hope you can act 
like an adult and try and take care of yourself and find a way to get 
here. If you need help, you know I am willing to provide it but I 
cannot hold each of our 120 guests hands and walk them into the hotel 
or drive them all to the ceremony - you can handle it I know you can, 
we've given you all of the tools, but I'm so tired of trying to help 
make things easy for you and as the day approaches I'm frankly too 
busy and have to think about myself for once.

Please get your s*** together,

I love you but i'm pissed off

Biology is Often Unfortunate

June 22, 2010

Dear sister,

Well, not that you ever acted like a real sister to me, but since we have the same parents, I guess I’m stuck with you.

I will not get into details about how unsupportive and mean you have been all these years…I will not speak about how delusional you were about your own wedding (which is still to this day the worst and tackiest wedding I’ve ever attended) and how much of a pain you have been ever since I started planning my own wedding.

I will only say, that I will forever regret asking you to help me with my day-of-coordinator…because you will now brag forever about how I was unable to deal with my own wedding. Comes my big day, you will probably tell every guest who’s interested in hearing you (and those who are uninterested too) that I left everything in your hands…when all I did was in fact, ask you to call my d-o-c to check if the tables linens at the venue were the right color.

Good Lord I didn’t ask you to call the florist too!

I guess it’s not only the in-laws that can drive a bride crazy…

Hope one day you can stop being such a b*tch!

The future bride, your sister (who’s embarassed to be your sister)

C’est La Vie

June 18, 2010

Dear Friend Who’s Moving and I’m Sooo Glad!!!!

Let me be the first one to wish you farewell to your final Midwest destination. Although I have nothing wrong with cowboys and mountain views, you sure seem to be apprehensive about the whole thing. I would be too if I was only marrying someone because I was older than my friend who just got engaged. It’s been such a joy having you go on and on about your wedding too like it’s the only thing on earth, even though I’m planning my very own wedding, with a guy I’ve been with longer. I’m just glad we’re so different and there are so many options out there for weddings now-a-days with all the blogs and creative brides out there. That’s why I’m so glad that when I did share all my ideas with you, because we were going through the “process” together, you didn’t make me regret it!

Cheers and thanks for changing your wedding from a Japanese garden theme to a tropical destination just like mine. Thanks so much for also moving your date up sooner, making our friends choose which destination wedding to go to know. I’m just so glad I didn’t even get a chance to send out my Save the Dates yet, being that I got yours in the mail today and it was the same one I showed you I was going to use. And, a special thank you, for making that choice extra enticing to our friends, by choosing the same website as mine too! I’m so glad you enjoyed my wedding so much you decided to have an identical one of your own! Seeing as I’m probably not going to attend, as well as half your guests, given you didn’t really give them enough time for that sort of thing, I wont get the opportunity to see what other ideas of mine your stealing. I’m sure I’ll here about them at my wedding though when our friends tell me they saw it just a couple months before. Thanks for making all my planning and research worth creating such a unique, one-of-a-kind experience.

Well, C’est La Vie and I’m going to miss watching you hit on guys at bars and get your last hoorah in before you move to the middle of know where with a guy you’re taking for a ride. I do wish you a long marriage, rich with cow manure.

Take care,

The better planner bride

Purgatory

June 16, 2010

Dear Guests at My Wedding,

Thank you so much for coming to my wedding almost 1 year ago. Have I told you how much I appreciated it? Oh wait, no, I’m sorry, I haven’t. But I will be sending out thank you cards this week. Yes, I am just squeaking in under the 1 year deadline…

However, to the guests that are demanding a thank you card, yes I know you want to be thanked. I get it! Trust me, it causes me no end of stress that the suckers still aren’t done. However, asking my father repeatedly where your thank you card is, is quite, frankly, rude. And then when I ask him to take it to you, minus an envelope (cos that takes time that I don’t have) for a rather crappy gift (excuse me, a small painting painted by you? Could you BE more cheap?), you don’t even acknowledge it. No “it’s lovely, how hard she must have worked on these”, no “what beautiful pictures she chose”. NOTHING. Instead I get a report of “Why didn’t she call me? Why didn’t she bring it over herself?”. My favourite complaint has to be the person who complained of no thank you card yet who gave us TWENTY dollars. Yes, that’s it. Honey, you wanted to become friends again, and not only do you trash my wedding (for being too secular, Miss “I’ve seen the light; I am almost an Amish person”), you hound me for a thank you for a $20 bill, what do you expect me to do? Hop to it? I didn’t go to your shotgun wedding, but I heard about it and how much money you got. I don’t have time for endless emails about how you are disappointed you haven’t received a thank you yet. And the whole friends again thing? Hmmm, maybe not.

That brings me to my next point. The reason why the stupid cards haven’t gone out yet is because I WORK.ALL.THE.TIME. There is no time to finish them. No time you say? Yes, that is exactly what I say because it is TRUE. Between 80-100 work weeks, I barely have time for my own husband, much less thank you cards. However, I do want to thank you all. Really I do.

At least I’m not that bride who NEVER sent a thank you. I’m still waiting for a thank you card from that girl.

Watch your mailboxes this week, they’re a-comin’!

Sincerely,
In Thank You Card Purgatory

Ding Ding! We have a WINNER!

June 15, 2010

We have a winner, POB fans!

It’s time to see who won the custom note cards from Go Against The Grain. I went old school and made a list on a legal pad. Why not!?

Then I went to my random number generator on my iPhone, aka random.org. And it chose…

#16! Emily M!

Congrats, Emily M! We hope they’re useful after your destination wedding. I sent along your email to Laurel from Go Against The Grain to redeem your prize.

Thanks to everyone who entered and look for more giveaways in the future! Don’t forget to submit, tweet, and to fan us on facebook!

We’re feeling generous today…

June 9, 2010

Submit a letter to Pissed Off Bride and receive TWO additional entries!  Post a comment on yesterday’s post telling us that you’re sending a letter to pissed off bride @ hotmail . com – and then of course, send in your submission for posting on this esteemed bloggity blog.

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